In our series of video interviews with people with cerebral palsy, we have the chance to sit down with some amazing, inspiring people who are chasing their passions and changing lives in the process. This time we invited Cassandra Davis, a Youtuber mom with cerebral palsy to tell us more about her journey, parenting and more.
Cassandra Davis, a wonderful energy and a beautiful emotion
From the first time I heard bits of her life stories on Clubhouse on our Cerebral palsy community, I thought to myself, this is a one of a kind human who has so many beautiful things to spread out in the universe. Besides that, the fact that she has cerebral palsy and she is successful in everything she does, but also keeps herself grounded, made me wonder even more about her journey.
Growing up, my parents were very big on teaching me on being as ‘’normal’’ as possible. They didn’t see me as different so they taught me at a very early age that you can do everything you want. You might do it in a different way than some people, but you can do it. And that’s been kind of my mantra through life.
Her voice is warm as she speaks, filled with tenderness, and the memories of a childhood where she learnt a lot and helped her become the woman she is today. She smiles often, and it’s a serene smile that is contagious.
Growing up, I was teased a lot, pushed into the boys’ bathroom, people would push me over on purpose to see me fall. People didn’t want to be my friend because they were afraid that they would catch cerebral palsy. But I was blessed with good friends and family. Dating was hard. It’s hard for normal people,so if you add a disability, it makes it harder. But my parents said, you can date, you might have to ask boys on dates, but they would help pay for dates and different things like that.
Cassandra’s life journey with cerebral palsy
Cassandra decided that she wanted to go to college because it was really hard to get a normal job, people would stare at her and assume that she wasn’t capable of performing job functions. She went to college and studied social work in her undergrad and then did a master’s degree in social work. She then became a licensed clinical social worker so she does private practice a few nights a week.
She tells me that’s kind of it, her story until she met her husband. She got married at 29 but in Utah that kind of means you’re old, she explains.
I met my husband at church and I thought he was cute and I knew he wasn’t going to make the move. So I decided to ask him out and I thought to myself, I am just going to keep asking him out. He was nervous in the beginning because of my disability, but the fact that he was willing to communicate and talk about this was great.
You can tell childhood hasn’t been easy on her, as kids weren’t always treating her nice, but she learnt who are the ones that are worth worrying about in life, and it’s not those mean kids, but it’s her family and friends.
Getting into Youtube
Cassandra tells me it took about 3 months or so of her asking her current husband out and hanging out. After one year they got married, and they’ve been married for 5 and a half years. When they decided to start having kids, that’s when the Youtube channel came into the picture. She didn’t even know whether she was able to have kids. So they set up a preconception consultation to see what would pregnancy be like.
That is my number one recommendation. If you have cp or any other physical disability, just go and ask questions. Tehcnology has come a long way and it’s easier nowadays for people with limitations to have kids.
Throughout my pregnancy, I would do research on disabled moms, or moms with cerebral palsy or accessible equipment for disabled moms and I got frustrated that I couldn’t find much. I think some people are either embarrassed to talk about it or they feel it’s like a taboo and I feel the complete opposite. So I decided once my baby was born to start a Youtube channel for people who are disabled parents or struggling with dating or anything like that. I upload a few times a month. I have videos on accessible cribs, on learning how to drive, all sorts of videos that I truly hope are helpful for people and spreading a positive message.
Watch our interview with Cassi on Youtube:
Drive and motivation
It’s not easy to document, to film, to edit and put together content, so my question is what drives you to keep doing it? Cassandra tells me that it’s hard because they don’t want their whole lives on Youtube but on the other side, she wants to post something that’s beneficial for others. For example, when she learnt how to put her baby in a car, she thought someone else might want to know about this. She wanted to know these things so a lot of her videos are things that she was searching for while pregnant that she couldn’t find.
When we have a baby next, we will be documenting the whole pregnancy this time. My videos are amateur, but as long as I get the message across, that’s all that matters. I think Youtube is also a sort of a journal to me and for my daughter to see it when she grows older.
Every once in a while, she puts makeup, makeovers and fun videos as well in there. And I add in the fact that I think that it’s always easier to edit stuff to look better, but you cannot edit life. I think it’s fantastic that she puts out the real, genuine stuff. And we think it’s very inspiring for future moms out there and looking for all this advice. I think they will look into your journey and find it very inspiring.
Her drive is helping others and that’s what’s even more remarkable with Cassandra. We hope she keeps on this journey and that she keeps inspiring us.
Your advice for moms with cp
One of the biggest pieces of advice I got actually from another mom was that you should tell people that you need help. Once you have a baby, people will start assuming that you cannot do anything by yourself. So when you ask for help, you need to be very specific in the tasks that you need help with. This way, you are still in charge.
Being very specific will definitely help you and you shouldn’t let others dictate what you need help with. The other advice would be if you don’t find a solution, create it yourself. There are not for example, many cribs that are accessible. I did find one that was around 7000 dollars, so we figured that we would have to modify a crib to make it work for me.
Everyone is going to judge you and your parenting skills. And unfortunately, the majority judges you, whether you are disabled or not. You shouldn’t let other people’s opinions stop you. A disabled mom doesn’t mean a bad mom.
Stasism is a revolutionary new social online platform with therapeutic physical video games made exclusively for people with Cerebral Palsy. The first of its kind, delivering a constant stream of new and exciting games, characters, features and much more, leading to a happier childhood. Discover how.